Tuesday 22 March 2011

You deserve to be single if...

So i was reading this post today, and i think the topic is very interesting. Obviously this post was written typically from a man's perspective, and i would think, from an American's point of view, but, i believe it can be related to the general life of most ladies in the 21st century, i even saw myself nodding at some of it. The original post has very very strong wordings, but if you can get past that then read i suggest you read it

"I saw a grown ass woman on TV praying for a man. This chick had her hands clasped together praying for a good man on some "Are You There God, it's me Thirsty" type shit. Everyone wants someone. But a relationship should not define your life. I have no problem with women wanting to be in love, but I have big issues with women who are obsessed with being in a relationship just for the sake of saying they’re in one. Drawing hearts, regurgitating love quotes, watching that stupid ass Notebook movie, have a Sunny D if you're that damn thirsty. “I wish he were here” Who is he!?! Stop living in a fantasy world, no man will ever be the ideal boyfriend you picture when you're single! You want love, that’s normal. But when you’re in love with the thought of being in love—that’s destructive."


You have no class, manners, and want nothing out of life. 

You are the type that give your man your money, cars e.t.c. whereas "he’s out with his friends in your car and you’re at home updating your Facebook Status.

You are the type that loves to flirt and tease though you have a patner yet, you regard yourself as being faithful.
You are the type that clubs the same amount of time as you did before you had a boyfriend, rather than sit at home with your man.

You are the type with the inability to get over past relationships and rather compare every new man to the last guy.

You are the type that use the 'we’re just friends, what’s the big deal' line yet, you "can’t wait to get off the phone with your so called boo so you can see what some other nigga just wrote you".

You are the type that is in a relationship strictly for night time activities

You are the type that gets a new boyfriend only because your ex moved on, and shortly after, "It’s no longer about what you want to do with your life; it’s about what he’s doing... Where he’s at... Why he isn’t calling you... "

So i read the Anonymous comment below the post and i thought again, 'could the poster's view point be one sided?' The comment has been added below
Anonymous said... source
NC-17, some of your post have been I would say most insightful; however, I would like to offer a different prospective, if you don't mind, to add balance. First, the woman that was praying for a man. Could that possibly speak of the current state of relations between men and women and the need for a divinely intervention to bridge the gap. Society's moral standards has completely declined over the years and values have been completely reshaped and defined to the point of unrecognition. It's getting to the point where the need to reach out for something greater than oneself for assistance. I have prayed for wisdom to understand myself, healthy relationships and also for the man I hope to call my partner. I pray that I am acceptable to that man that I want to attract and that I have something to offer him as he does me. Secondly, we are sexual beings so some of the things that you listed are purely human nature and rather than they be judged have them be managed. Enrichment comes from understanding rather than condemnation. Lastly, the responsiblity of men and their contributions to relationships is something that can be addressed as well. I mean to expect imperfection in men but to offer a list of objective for women to follow to be acceptable or reach ideal will constantly have someone on their needs. It takes personal effort from both parties for a successful union.
Anyway guys what do you think, what view point would you take? OR 
Do they both have a point?


  1. I think I might have an opinion on this if I wasn't brain dead *Good Forbid, just too tired*
    anyways..... I semi agree with all the points, except for the praying part. there is nothing wrong with asking God for what you want.

    My take is just that you should strive to be what you want to attract. if you want a God fearing man, well be one, don't go looking for him at the club. if you want a built man, well, you might want to start working out yourself. if you want a man that knows his way around a kitchen, well, you might wanna know ao to handle a knife. you get the drift sha......

  2. lool at the second reason why you deserve to be single.
    some ppl jst cnt do without being in reltionships, thats why u see them dating the biggest douchebags everytime,lol.
    maybe the woman praying for a guy is desperate for a husband cos she's like in her late 30's and unmarried or sumn,lol.

  3. I totally agree with 9jaFoodie!

  4. I agree w/ majority of what whoever wrote except for prayer (and thank you for NC-17 version lol) I desperately need deliverance from comparing men to my past and my friends relationships. And Yes I sooooo cosign with 9jafoodie. TWO people make a GOOD & Strong Relationship. Therefore you should be praying to be a better person for your mate also. It is important to lift your "future spouse/bf "IN" prayer but that should not consume YOUR WHOLE Prayer. Meaning ...

    "Father God, boyfriend, boyfriend, boyfriend, Jehovah Jireh husband, God of Isaac, Husband, Blood of Jesus, boyfriend, In jesus Name, Husband ... Amen". A relationship is cut both ways, Take care and pray for yourself also.

  5. there's nothing wrong with praying about it but it doesn't end with prayer. Cos, while you are praying about it, you also have a role to play too...your attitude, mannerisms, priorities, and oda stuff 9jafoodie talked abt. Else, you will keep praying till thy kingdom comes. Well, I agree with some of the other points sha

  6. I agree with most of what they wrote too, and 9jafoodie too, lol..

  7. I agree with the comment the Annoymous person made.

  8. I agree with both of them.
    Women have the tendency to cut their lives short in the name of searching for love. Love and mariage are beautiful but they are not the only purpose God made us. If a woman can afford a car, a house and the good things of life, she should get them! A good man wants a 'WHOLE' woman not the one who has chained a part of who she is waiting for him. And pls every single woman should kneel down, clasp her hands, weep if she can and ask God to send His son her way! The worst thing that can happen to a single woman is to wait for so long and eventually be joined to the wrong man..

  9. Some women are just too obsessed with getting into relationships and getting married and have a man. It's not healthy- but praying is a good step oh. At the same time, men should not expect perfection either. I say take your time, and understand each other


  10. I think "Mr or Mrs Anonymous" is on point N i concur to that fact that love has to be nurtured by the 2 parties involved!!..well i would like to add that some women pray for Good men N when they get them,they just take his leniency for Granted.."speaking from Experience" :)

  11. I agree with both views...however the prayer part is a must there is nothing wrong with that...when we pray we are spoken to and there are many men out there that look very similar to the right one and unless we pray about it we may just jump on anyone that comes along the way....
    @9jafoodie i'm snapping my fingers

  12. I agree with the anonymous person.

    The main blog had some good points in it as well. Its just that its so culturally different that I cant relate to some of what he or she is saying.

  13. hmm!.., am on the fence..they have good points...the truth is, we BOTH need each other...just that we women show it more in our actions & speech.

  14. I agree with both of them, but i am feeling the anonymous point of view more.

  15. Daniela Amaka Chukwujekwu24 March 2011 at 21:03

    No one intentionally wants to be single..
    Though we ladies could be stupid atimes *no apologies* i was once stupid until i realised that i'm the missing part of him..cut! Cut! Cut! Dont get carried away..
    self discovery is one's greatest invention.

  16. I certainly agree with the Anonymous comment. Personally, I can testify that I prayed and trusted God for the man that became my husband..I took a shopping list to God and got a better deal than expected..that was 12 years ago..(been married for 9.5years now thank God!)..so even if I looked desperate or thirsty then...its not so important now what matters is I got me a divinely arranged Mr Cool..

  17. woow I'm gonna read it ....
    its a bit harsh though


  18. @Ifunanya plz don't compare, let the past remain in the past cos u never can tell d future
    @ 9ja foodie n Nonye n Daniela, i concur, there definately has to b a balance, we ladies re filled with a lot of do's n dont's, i find that unfair
    @Bola this ur prayer list ur always talking bout, hmmm i guess its really full lol..

  19. Well im going against the grain here but i will say i don't agree with what the poster is saying. If anything, i think the title for this list of "ifs" should be "you need to take a step back and work on yourself if..." Saying you "deserve" to be single implies that being single is some sort of punishment and that in and of itself would mean that the person who made the list needs to do some self-reflection. To me, they sound like someone who is a little bitter and maybe has been through some things that they need to get over.
    And as for praying- i see nothing wrong with that. I know i want the man not God has created for me and not just any old rogue who comes my way. I have prayed before for the ability to be able to see Mr Right in the sea of Mr. Wrongs and also for me to be a fitting Mrs. Right to whomever shall be my spouse in the future. Doesn't mean a person is desperate- just looking for direction.

  20. I got a new things from this blog... pretty nice..


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