Thursday 14 March 2013

Domestic Violence; "I'm Not A Punching Bag"


Prior to this article, i read a story of a lady who was killed by the hands of her husband and childhood love. They had known each other right from their tender age, one would think that getting married would be a happily ever after story for them. This was not the case as the man who was short-tempered took to drinking  due to several reasons and took out his frustration on his wife. She lost several pregnancies due to his abuses and unfortunately died after hitting her head against the wall when he shoved her.

How many of us secretly share the same story as this lady or know someone who is? Shame or pride has refused to let you do the right thing, or you are hoping he/she would change and things would become better. Well, this might happen but in most cases it doesn't.

Domestic violence can be defined as a pattern of of abusive behaviors by one partner against another. It can take any form including physical aggression or assault (inflicting pain on), threats, verbal assaults, intimidation, stalking, emotional e.t.c.

If you are a victim of this crime, its best you speak up or take actions to stop it before you end up in the hospital or worse. If things have not become official, its best you opt out before you make the worst mistake of your life. Courtship is a time to study your partner not a do or die affair. When dating, pay attention to danger signals. But if you have tied the knot already or your parents or siblings are the abusers, then here are some personal safety tips you can try:

  • Be aware of things that trigger such violence and try to avoid them.
  • Try to stay calm when it seems like things are getting out of hand. This way, you would be able to think properly on what to do instead of panicking and escalating the argument.
  • Learn to protect yourself emotionally rather than being triggered and coerced by the mean things being said.
  • Try to protect yourself verbally and physically without actually fighting back.
  • Come up with a safety plan for yourself and children (if there is any involved)
Note that fighting back can lead to the person putting more pressure or becoming more violent. Fighting back should be your last tactic and its advised you quickly leave that place once you get the chance for things to cool off.

For people who actually commit this crime, you can stop it. When you feel yourself getting angry, try and relax or leave the place. Turning to alcohol or any other substance would only make matters worse. If you know you can't stop because you hate what the person is doing then its best you part from the person. You don't want to be responsible for the death of someone. The sentence of murder in Nigeria is death! Caution yourself.

If you know anyone who might be a victim of such violence, kindly share this article with them. You may be saving a life.

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1 comment:

  1. Yeah its true... It really happens. Some women Just keep quiet and Have the feeling that it will be all fine and Things will change and become good. When? The best thing to do is to voice out your problems to anyone that has the power to help. Nice tips ChizyK :)



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