Sometimes we humans lie to ourselves and when a relationship ends; we tell ourselves that we can remain friends with our ex. In most cases, this is the start of a big problem because it is usually the case that one person wants to stay single but can’t do without the friend they found in their ex-partner, whereas the other wants to remain friends because he or she is still in love and hopes that over time the love will be rekindled.
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I once had a friend in this situation, and she happened to be the one who wanted the friend she found in her ex, whereas he secretly wanted a reunion, and surprisingly she was oblivious to this for a while. She eventually took drastic actions, at the end of the day he felt worse than he did when they initially broke up.
I am sure a lot of you have experienced this, so feel free to let me know if you agree or disagree with my opinion. From the top of my head, the most important thing to do when a relationship breaks down is to
- MAKE UP YOUR MIND
Why beat around the bush, make up your mind. Would you rather give the relationship another shot or would prefer to move on? This stage is really important because once you have made up your mind, then you can eliminate the problem of unconsciously giving him mixed signals or flirting.
- THE BREAK UP SHOULD BE FINAL AND BE CLEAR ABOUT IT
I cannot pretend that this is the hardest part especially when the person in question is someone you once gave your all, fell in love with and maybe even lived with, but as much as you do not want to hurt your ex, it is actually better for them if you are firm in your decision so that they get the message straight from the onset.
- MOVE ON
Going through step two in most cases would have been very hard, now the most important part of it all is to move on and take your mind off your ex. To do this, you can either date someone else, have new friends that do not remind you of your ex
Have you been through a similar experience? Then share it with us
i don't believe girls who do this, make up your mind men, you're either in or out. I once had a boyfriend who was forming bestie with his ex, i told him clearly he had to pick. you cant eat your cake and have it.
ReplyDeleteIts just easier said than done. We humans make up our minds several times in a day. I can only add that if you are the jilted one, get something to keep you busy so you don't think of it. if you really want to move on, get busy, find something to do or you'll spend your time pitying yourself and wishing your ex evil. In the long run you become bitter and unhappy. So don't just sit still. Tell yourself you deserve to be happy and your joy lies in God and not on your fellow human being. lol
ReplyDeleteits easier said than done, i have experienced it so i know what i am talking about
DeleteThat doesnt mean that you cant be friends with the ex years later though...if you still have feeling for an ex,staying friends wont help in anyway only if you are over them and want to be friends way later then its cool if he wants too
ReplyDelete