1. Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied. "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."
Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that two people nearly 100 years old having sex would be asking for trouble. "Oh, no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm.
Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong." She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "and if the damn ice cream truck hadn't come along, he'd still be alive today.
2. A blonde was hard up for money, so she walked around her neighborhood, trying to find a job. She met a nice man who said he would give her work. All she had to do was paint his porch white. He gave her a bucket of paint and left. He walked into his house, laughing. He told his brunette wife what he had done. "Frank, our porch covers half of the house! You're so mean." his wife replied.
Three hours later, the blonde went in the house, and gave the bucket of white paint back to the man. The astonished man handed her a \\$100 bill, and asked how she finished it so quickly.
"It takes time, but it was easy." was her reply. "Oh, and it's a Ferrari, not a Porsche."
3. An Expensive Weave or Brazilian Hair can never cover for the absence of Common Sense
Twitter: ChizyK
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