Thursday 7 April 2011

Chizy's definition of a perfect man

I was on Linda Ikeji's blog last week, and she had a post reporting comedian Seyi Law's white wedding. Like most of her wedding/ marraige posts, i expected the usual 'happy married life to them' but instead, there were mostly comments like:

Vanessa said... "congrats to dem....but ds seyi law tk style wowo sha"

Natasha said... "Vanessa u took the words right out of my mouth, lol i was going to say it but as i was seeing all the "Congratulations" and happy "married life" messages, i decided to respect masef lol"

Funny comments they are obviously, but if you check out the rest of their wedding pictures and some of their ordinary pictures on facebook, you can tell the couple look very happy and excited. I have no problem whatsoever with the comments, instead, it inspired this post and really got me thinking ... who is the perfect man? Is he the man that seems perfect in the eye of the world (your family and friends especially) or the one that makes you happy? or do you have to strive hard to find a combination of both, bearing in mind that the Nigerian culture only permits a girl to search between ages of 18 and 25? (of course if you search any earlier you are a bad and untrained child; if it is any later you are expired and family pressure kicks in).

It is normal for a girl to have the perfect definition of her dream man and I am no exception. I stand at a leggy 5ft 10 with a huge crush on 3 inches heeled stilettos, hence i define my dream man as tall (at least 6ft2), not so slim (muscular is a plus), dark skinned, not ugly, fancy named job, wealthy, he has to be from my tribe, and the list goes on. Oh!!! i forgot to add that lately, some girls pray for a man whose mother is late because they don't want mother inlaw problems lol......

Anyway, growing up, i found that in reality, my attraction to a man is far from the physical, it has always been inbuilt; his personality, character, fear of God and ofcourse his feelings for me, may be not his financial resources at the time, but at least his financial prospects (or is he the type that will keep his handsome self in the house while i work full time and at the same time cater for the home and our children). Height, language, tribe, looks, fancy named job, skin color, wealth etc at the time form the least of my thoughts.

Now tell me;
I'm i a slacker or have i been watching too many Hollywood and too little Nollywood movies? OR
I'm i the definition of a sensible young Nigerian lady who wants God's will to be done?
While picking your stand on this, have the below pictures of happy looking couples in mind.


  1. lol as in hu even came up with the age sef. 18 - 25 like no o u are going for beauty pageant. erm i think its a bit of everything. As someone said on her blog, the first time u see a person u dnt see their personality. u may say oh he is handsome and then get to know his personality better, except mayb its the case where someone has gisted you about the person prior to the meeting. I also figure that height, looks and tribe and stuff shouldnt be the main koko but in 9ja where u dey marry d family (and sometimes friends) as u dey marry d man or woman, its just comes with a lot of peace of mind to have the money and tribe and looks figured out. but then again if you dont care what anyone thinks then (not that u shuld really care cos ur d one going into the marriage not them), as they say, follow ur heart

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  3. Chizy,Your man should be perfect in your eyes alone coz he is marrying U and not any other relative :) Saw ur list and all i can say is Goodluck ;-)

  4. Hummmm....I will pick a nice guy over a "fyne" boy anyday anytime. I mean, every girl marvel at the thought of mr Boris Kodjoe but at the end of the day, there are a billion Halley Berry looking girls in the world but only a few Boris Kodjoe looking guys. I am not saying settle for less, but some demands can be out of this world. if you are a 5... it might be hard to attract a perfect 10.

  5. Your perfect man is that man which meets the standard you have set for yourself and you are at peace with yourself

  6. Oh, I have had many definitions of the perfect man when I was younger. Now all I want (especially in the man I have now) is someone understanding, reliable, trustworthy, kind, gracious and loving. These are the lasting traits of character that beauty, height, wealth can never make up for since they are all fleeting. The dude I've got wasn't my dream guy because of certain circumstances but hey, the heart wants what it wants! Good luck in your search :)

    Come check out my skull bracelet giveaway!

  7. I'm with u jare, looks isnt everything. I cnt lie sha, the looks is what gets me attracted to a guy in the 1st place. U mustnt be the younger version of george clooney but u shld atleast look presentable :p ..personality is the most important thing to me. I cnt be bothered about tribe and other petty stuff. If you've got a killer personality, i'll be smitten :)

  8. I've met guys of varying looks and social standing and it always comes down to personality. Every. Single. Time. Don't get me wrong, a handsome guy is always gonna turn my head, but he has to have something past that, otherwise the looks become a novelty that you get sick of rather quickly.

    I also think financial standing is important. Not the most important, but important nonetheless. Most couples get divorced because of financial difficulties so people who say women are shallow for thinking about it are kidding themselves. But the person doesn't have to be immediately wealthy, but having good prospects (like you say) are important too.

  9. hehe 18-25, should be 17-24 lolz, matter of fact it could even be 23, lately i've been around so many Nigerians where my friends graduate arounf 22/23 and then at the graduation party parents, siblings and relatives start asking "Is he here or can we meet him"...the pressure will always kick in but pleasing others will not make you happy so a man that others think is perfect is out of question....Yeah personality is a plus but if you aint looking smart i'm sorry i may not give it a chance to see the personality (by smart i mean the way you act, speak and carry yourself)

    However at the end of the day what you are is what you attract!

  10. I dont think im moved by more after the substance than the container

  11. " some girls pray for a man whose mother is late because they don't want mother inlaw problems lol......"

    wow girls harsh o!!
    i think your version is spot on imo. when the rubber meets the road, all those other extras become completely inconsequential.

    but hotD, why do our parents/family put so much pressure on young ladies to get married asap??

  12. Once he's perfect in ur eyes and perfect choice from God, every other person can dive off third mainland bridge!

  13. Does he fear God?

    Does he make you laugh hard?

    Is he a hardworking person, a leader who knows what it is to be a man?

    Are you attracted to him and him to you?

    LOYAL, HONEST, PATIENT??? Got your back?

    Thats all that matters in the grand scheme of things.


    Chei so I don expire be that ooo, loooool!


  14. For me looks are so secondary. His personality must count and be examined. Once you have peace with a man, He is God fearing, has prospects, and loves you every other thing is Jara.
    Just know God's will for you.

  15. Chic, It looks to me like you are trying too hard to be linda Ikeji. You have the same gist on her page same template sef. Word of advise you can't be there if you want to be like some one else

  16. LOL! You're not a slacker oh. I think you're being totally realistic. I won't lie, sometimes i wish for an M&B guy, knowing i'll probably never find him *sob sob*


    Errr Please what is this Sowee person yapping about? >:|

  17. No wonder ur name is sowee, Eeeya such a shame that u MISS ROAD from Linda Ikeji's blog to mine cos the templates are similar, hmmm guess u need to borrow ur grandma's glasses soon otherwise you'll miss road to many more blogs cos there are so many blogs using d same templates?

    N wen did Linda start gisting about the perfect man and other luv stories?

    I know you'll RE-MISS ROAD back to my blog again, when you do plzz give urself a big big hug, cos it seems u need it badly, but try not to suffocate while ur at it darling.

  18. Blessings....
    Perfect is a fallacy.......
    Regardless of what you what, know yourself, your strengths, weaknesses, fear, and who you are first and everything else will fall in place.

    have a blessed weekend.

  19. Nice blog, Tnx for visiting.

  20. Mixed emotions obviously, thanks a lot for sharing your opinion
    @Didi: thx, but don't mind that list jor
    @Baby budget blog, you just took the words out of my mouth
    Hmmm trust me the age thing is very much in existence.
    @Ms Yellow Sisi ur right, it may even be 17-24

  21. It really sad when you hear some ppl's comment about other peoples spouse.. Beauty and handsomeness is way beyond the physical.. if it does not come from within.. sooner or later, what's inside takes over:)

  22. i don't care if he's from a different tribe. i am the product of an inter tribal/state marriage so you could say that i am bi-tribal. i think i would prefer a man who is the male version of moi.

    by the way, loved the way you answered that sowee......some idiots just can't get a grip


I'd love to know what you think of this post
Feel free to share them below ... Chizy K

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